My Last Lullaby
by PrettyLittleParanoidAngel
Summary: This piece is dedicated to the moments not explained in the books, so timeline wise it would be between the end of E. Aster Bunnymund and the beginning of Queen Toothiana. It deals with the feelings and confliction felt by pitch after being shown the locket by Katharine. It will deal with extreme forms of potentially triggering emotions, see warning inside.


**My Last Lullaby**

A Pitch and Seraphina Story

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THIS FICTION CONTAINS SPOILERS. DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE GUARDIAN OF CHILDHOOD BOOKS ONE TWO AND THREE. IF YOU DO, DON'T BE UPSET THAT YOU KNOW TOO MUCH.

WARNING: This piece is dedicated to the moments not explained in the books, so timeline wise it would be between the end of E. Aster Bunnymund and the beginning of Queen Toothiana. It deals with the feelings and confliction felt by pitch. It will deal with extreme forms of potentially triggering emotions such as, Vengeance, Wrath, Self Hate, Betrayal, Pain, Abandonment, and of course fear.

Each chapter will have some memories or a scene from the past mixed in with what he is currently dealing with. All Memories Shall be _italicized_ to avoid confusion. Please leave a review, tell me what you think and any idea's you might have.

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The nightmare king looked at the small Innocent looking necklace with a mixture of horror and pain. The silver glinted even in the darkness, as if determined to keep him from looking away from the small picture.

He could not hide it behind his shadows, and could not bring himself to throw the fragile locket away. The image burned his soul, it ripped open an old wound that had long since been forgotten and hidden away.

The face that attacked him from the small pendant was so much like his, yet different. Her dark hair, he knew was soft and hard to tame. He had spent many nights helping her brush her wild hair.

Her face was angular and proud, much like his used to be… the worst part was her eyes… Her eyes were wide with love and trust, a picture he had taken himself long ago.

It was her eyes that truly pierced his hard shell, once a reminder that there was hope in the world that seemed to cut through his frozen heart like a wicked dagger. He closed his eyes tightly trying to hide from that gaze, and felt a cool line trail down his cheek.

He knew better, he of all people knew that when you close your eyes, you can see what you were trying to hide from all the more clearly.

"_Father… Why do you have to go?" _

Her voice cut through the darkness before anything else, but the memory was quick to follow. Suddenly he was sitting in a painfully familiar room. He glanced down and saw her curled in his lap. He felt his arms wrapped around her small body, holding her against his chest and rocking her gently while tears ran down her cheeks.

"_You know that I have to do this. It is the least I can do to protect you, and this age of peace that we all risked so much for. It was I who put many of them behind those bars, it is only fair I guard them." _

_His voice was gentle and loving as he smoothed the dark hair on the child's head. She Glanced up at him through her long dark eyelashes, seeming resigned, but the sadness he saw there was unbearable. Her voice trembled as she whispered._

"_You have done enough, if you go I will never see you again." _

_He blinked, shaken by how certain his young daughter suddenly sounded, as If she already knew she would loose him and accepted it. He kissed her hair and pulled her closer. His voice betrayed his shock, as it trembled for a moment, before turning to a humorous joking tone as he tried to lighten the mood. _

_ "What makes you so sure that you will never see me again? You wound me! I have faced much worse than standing at a gate." _

_ It worked, because after a moment she giggled, though her laugh faded quickly into silence. After a long pause she finally said in a soft, desperate voice._

_ "I have a horrible feeling, I just know that if you leave… something will happen. Don't Go." _

_ He too paused, he did not want to leave his daughter, but if he did not guard the gate, then no one would. Someone had to make sure that the fearlings never got loose. This was the only way to protect her. He would give her a life without fear, even if it ended up being his last gift. _

_After a moment he said in a soft, soothing voice._

"_You know that I have already given my word I would do this. I do this for you, for everyone, so that you can live in a world where you feel safe. I promise I will never leave you. You will be with me in my heart, and I with you in yours. Now… It is time for you to go to bed. I will sing you a lullaby if that helps." _

_She rolled her eyes at him as he changed the subject so abruptly. He had a habit of doing that, especially when she was upset. She sighed and nodded before pausing and saying in a soft, sad voice as she got up to walk around and look for something._

"_When I wake up again, you will have already left…" He tilted his head in confusion and was about to follow her before she turned around and bounded back to him _

"_So Here. Take this so when you look at it… You can remember; you promised you would come back. I will never stop waiting for you."_

_He looked curiously at what she was holding out to him, it was a small silver locket. He smiled and reached out to take it but she pulled it away quickly and shook her head. Her smile was bright and playful as she said. _

"_You have to put it on to look at it." He laughed and bent down so she could put the locket on his neck; once he heard it click and she leaned back he lifted the pendant to where he could look at it and his grin widened. He hugged her again, tightly as he tried to memorize what it felt like to have her in his arms. He buried his face in her hair and whispered _

"_It is perfect, I will always have a little piece of you with me."_

_It took all his strength to let go. Suddenly he got the feeling that It would be a long time before he ever got to hold her again. For a moment, he understood her fear. _

Pitch forced the memory back, and jerked up from his sitting position. Anger and pain filled him; this locket was just a reminder that he had failed her. That he was nothing but a liar. He could never go back to her; he would not force her to see the monster he had become. He rammed the object against a rock in bitter anger, but still found himself unable to release the item. He cursed the Tsar, The golden age, and above all, he cursed himself. What A fool he had been. Back then he had believed that nothing could bring him down, he saw her as his talisman. The one thing that made him stronger than the temptation and fear that he would face guarding that gate. He felt tears running down his cheeks again, but they were warm with the anger and malice that tainted his heart.


End file.
